"How should I open up to a new partner?"
"I don't know what to admit to my girlfriend."
"I'm terrified that my boyfriend won't approve of what I'll tell him."
"I am embarrassed at some things I did in my past. Help!"
Starting a new relationship can be frustratingly difficult.
It takes a lot of time and effort, especially at first.
Starting with a strong foundation of friendship and trust is goal #1.
A foundation built on honesty can mean the difference between a healthy relationship and a toxic one.
Remember these four keys to build an honest and healthy new relationship:
Share the reasons why your last relationship ended.
It's not only fair, but also important for your new dating partner to understand what caused the breakup of your last relationship. This is especially true if you're to blame. Your honesty and candidness will be appreciated.
- Showing this new person that you're remorseful about your past actions allows them to see how you've learned from your past and wish to do things differently now.
- By sharing your past relationship challenges, you could avoid repeating them.
- If this new person doesn't stick around after your outpouring, chances are they weren't "the one" after all. Don't worry - your match is still out there waiting for you!
Why did you breakup?
Discuss what you're looking for in this relationship.
Try not to paint a false picture of your expectations. Your new friend might feel flattered to hear that you see a "lifelong mate" in them, but be honest about wanting to take things slowly if that's where your head is.
- Explain your feelings about what you want from this relationship and justify the reasons. Maturity goes a long way in getting the most out of any situation.
- Be prepared to give the same things you expect so both parties are treated fairly. Remember that a relationship is a two way street.
What do you want?
Divulge your strengths and weaknesses.
It's natural to want to put your best foot forward when being courted by someone new, but the easiest way to lose that person's trust is to portray yourself as somebody you're not. Show a willingness to reveal your weaknesses, as well. Vulnerability goes a long way in inspiring the trust of others.
- Let your new partner know that you don't always have the best advice, but you're the best listener in the world!
- Explain that you sometimes require encouragement to pursue something intimidating that you've always wanted to try, but haven't.
What are you good at? Bad at?
Avoid sacrificing your morals for love.
Even if you feel your new love interest is the biggest blessing, it's important to be honest about certain issues you can't tolerate or those that might be deal breakers.
- Once you get things out in the open, there's a choice. If the love is real, the person will understand your morals and respect your position.
- It's important to express your emotions when your new friend does something you don't like so it's clear that you don't want it to happen again.
- Remember that your beliefs make you the person you are. Avoid becoming somebody else for the sake of love!
What are your deal breakers?
The quicker you address potential problems in an honest way, the closer you'll be to building a strong, healthy relationship with your new partner.
Yes, honesty is the best policy.
If being honest doesn't produce the desired results, it wasn't meant to be. Stand your ground and don't settle for less than someone who will make you as happy as you make them.
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