"I need help finding my life partner."
"How do I recognize my soul mate?"
"Is there someone out there right for me? How can I tell?"
"I don't know what to look for in a soul mate. Help!"
Is finding the right partner a key ingredient in your recipe for a happy life?
While the search can seem elusive, it gets much easier if you learn to focus on the qualities that are fundamental to forging healthy and positive relationships: character, background, personality, and chemistry.
Are they really available?
- Assess their availability. For a loving relationship, both parties must be available for love. If one of you is already involved with another person, you're already off to a difficult start! Circumstances may change with time or you may need to look elsewhere.
Trustworthy or not?
- Establish trust. Trust is basic to any stable relationship. You deserve a relationship that enhances your peace of mind, rather than creating new anxieties.
How do they handle arguments?
- Look at how they manage conflicts. It's okay to disagree as long as you respect each other's positions. Arguments can even bring you closer together when you both aim for solutions that satisfy both parties rather than seeking victory.
Any skeletons in the closet?
- Resolve past issues. Regardless of what hardships a person has faced, focus on what they did to overcome adversity and challenges.
Do you see any patterns?
- Discuss previous relationships. People have different comfort levels when it comes to talking about past lovers. Still, it's important to be aware of any patterns and know how to manage them.
What's their family history?
- Learn from each other's family history. Our family experiences often have a profound influence in shaping our lives and our reactions to new events. For example, knowing how your potential partner felt about their parent's divorce might help you understand them better.
How do they handle money?
- Find common ground on money matters. Mingling finances is a big step. Get a sense of how compatible you are when it comes to making decisions about spending and saving.
- Many successful couples have different perspectives on economics, but they make it work by balancing each other's strengths and weaknesses.
Are kids in your future?
- Know each other's expectations about parenting. Parenting is one issue where it's very difficult to make compromises. Before making a commitment, clarify whether you're on the same page with wanting a big family or a family of two.
How open is the communication?
- Communicate. Constructive communication is the lifeline for any alliance. Communication skills can be improved with practice, but it's helpful to know each other's habits.
Do you have fun together?
- Have a blast! After all, you're looking for someone whose company you'll enjoy. If your girlfriend makes you laugh even during tax season, this is a good sign that you may have a future together.
What do you have in common?
- Share common interests. Liking the same things will also help you feel more connected. Whether you love film festivals or camping, you can create meaningful experiences and happy memories that you both will treasure.
How's the electricity?
- Let the sparks fly. Physical attraction is one of the greatest joys in life. As long as all the other elements for a healthy relationship are in place, it's wonderful to find a mate who makes your heart race.
Any health concerns?
- Stay healthy. If your partner leads a healthy lifestyle, you may be more likely to preserve that initial attraction. You might even be rewarded with having more years to spend together.
Can you stay grounded?
- Take a balanced view of romance. It's great to keep romance alive so long as it's free from illusions. Passions will fluctuate over time, but your sense of commitment and affection can keep on growing through the years.
A life partner is a precious gift. We all appreciate feeling validated and having someone to share our happiness. Knowing what to look for pays off when you're looking for love.
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