"How can I deepen the relationship with my partner?"
"I want a stronger relationship with my spouse."
"I don't know how to improve my relationship with my husband."
"How can we build a closer and more fulfilling relationship?"
Have you been in a relationship that zoomed by at supersonic speed, only to epically crash into a solid brick wall?
It may have been mind-blowing for what seemed like a minute or two, but the end resulted in a loud thud.
What I'm here to tell you today is that relationships which move along at a steady pace often outlast any whirlwind romance.
If you want to be more certain about where you stand before you commit your time and emotions to a partner, take my advice and follow these 15 steps.
It will be well worth it and your partner will appreciate it enormously. Why? Because the alternative is that you continue to crash into solid brick walls. And who wants to keep doing that?
6 Steps to Take by Yourself:
Take responsibility for your own happiness.
It's easier to show restraint when you develop realistic expectations for any relationship. You create your own success and happiness in life. It's good to have a partner, but you're still whole all on your own.
What makes you happy?
Develop a stable sense of self-esteem.
Believing in your own value provides an effective guide to what's acceptable in your interactions with others. You can be generous and forgiving from a position of confidence rather than neediness.
How do you feel about yourself?
Know your own priorities.
There's still some social pressure to get married. Give yourself credit if you're a responsible member of the community who functions better in a different arrangement.
What are your priorities?
Question Hollywood stereotypes.
Movies and romance novels are filled with couples who fall in love at first sight and get married about a week later. It's important to separate fact from fiction.
Are Hollywood stereotypes reality? Please say NO.
Monitor your time.
Be honest with yourself about how much time you and your new partner really spend together. It's often one of the best indications about how seriously they regard the relationship.
How much time do you spend together?
Focus on character.
Above all, concentrate on learning about your potential partner's character. Anyone can take dance lessons, but integrity will be more difficult to develop if it's not already in place.
Who is your partner, really?
9 Steps to Take as a Couple:
Are you open and forthcoming?
Be sensitive when sharing personal information. Appreciate your partner's honesty even when their views are different from your own.
How respectful are you?
Share a variety of experiences.
Get to know each other in different settings. You may see a whole other side when someone gets out of the office and onto a softball field.
How many settings can you think of?
Take on new challenges.
Sharing activities together will teach you more than staring at the same TV screen. Sign up for a philosophy class together or go kayaking.
What do you consider to be a challenge? What will you try?
Make friends with other couples.
Spending time with other couples will also give you insights into each other. In addition, you may find role models you want to emulate.
Who are good candidates?
Hang out with each other's friends.
How well do you handle feedback?
Meet each other's families.
Families have a tremendous influence on most of our lives. Observe how people talk about their parents and whether they keep in touch with their siblings. It may reveal patterns that will repeat themselves if you start your own family together.
Are you ready to meet the parents?
Trust in increments.
Trust is a gradual process. If someone shows up on time for every coffee date, you can feel more secure asking them to feed your dog while you're away for a week.
Are you each earning the trust of the other?
You may both have certain requirements in mind for any long term relationship. If certain requirements are a "must" for you, determine sooner rather than later if your new partner fits the bill.
What are your limits?
Being romantic and sensible at the same time will make your life so much more satisfying and fulfilling.
Taking the time to be the tortoise instead of the hare will place your delicate relationship on more solid ground for the long term.
And yes, you can still get swept off your feet, the difference will be it'll last sooo much longer.
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